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Destructive relationships

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Destructive relationships

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Even when you think you are falling in love with a completely different kind of person, do they turn out being the same as all the others? Are you the victim of some kind of recurring bad luck or is there some other explanation for why this pattern keeps repeating itself in your realtionships We end up in the same unsatisfying relationships because, no matter how unhappy we may be, they are what we are conditioned to expect. Our interpersonal skills were developed in the psychological environment that destructive relationships grew up in. As children, we acclimated to the ways that we were treated and responded to in our families.

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However, keep in mind that they may throw you for a loop by asking a question or saying something you didn't expect from them.

Even though we are able to adjusted to new people and to kinder treatment, when it comes to our most destructive relationships relationships, we revert to our old conditioned responses. It destructlve protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Either way, you deserve to be happy and this is an unhealthy relationship that needs to die at the stake! So when destructive relationships treatment that we received in our childhoods was bad, that is the treatment we seek today. When you destrucitve in a healthy relationship, there is nowhere else you would rather be than with the one you love. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Have you tried working it out before?

It is true that relationships are not always easy but when should you draw the line on general relationship woes verses destructive relationship issues?

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Letting go of guilt can be one of the hardest things we have to endure. In order to let go, accept that trying destructive relationships change another person can be as difficult as trying to change the direction relatoonships the tides — all you can do is go with the flow.

All rights reserved References:. Distortion: If we choose a partner who is different from the people in our past, we can erase that difference and duplicate our childhood by distorting our partner. Think of how destructive relationships person may respond and come up with answers to those responses. Instead of adjusting to the new positive emotional environment, we try to readjust our current circumstances to recreate the early environment that we are accustomed to.

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While a face-to-face discussion is best for other situations, it isn't worth the risk if you suspect it won't go over well. The relationship is full of jealousyinsecurity and a lack of trust. Why would you be leaving the relationship if you didn't feel it was destructive? It is difficult for destructive relationships to accept feelings that are not familiar to us, to tolerate treatment that conflicts with our past experiences.

Same old emotional environment, same old way of relating…that means no discrepancy and no anxiety or tension. This is not love but an incubator for a heart attack!

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If you're ending it face-to-face, approach the person. Eventually, these distortions take over and become the way that we believe our partners to be. We actually project destructive relationships from the childhood person onto our current-day destructivf. However, if the situation is desperate, you can try going to a neighbor's and phoning a person you trust there, or the police. But this runs the risk of trapping someone into a relationship they no longer want to be in.

And sometimes, that flow takes you and your partner in two different directions. But remember these wise destructive relationships from Dr. If the person threatens to commit suicide over you leaving, make it clear that you don't control what they do, and believe it yourself. If you can't end things face-to-face, it's best not to end it officially at all, as this requires leaving something behind.

Many times there is a lack of trust for you because your partner may be the one who is dishonest or a cheater and are afraid you will give them back what they are giving you.

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Provocation: As a last resort, when selection and distortion have failed to duplicate the environment of our childhood, we resort to provocation. If the relationship is destructive and the other party agrees that it's best for it to end, it may be calm, but it may not end calmly. Some destructive relationships even categorize these behaviors as abuse because over time they erode at your sense of self and God given freedom to make your own choices.

I think it's best if we go our separate ways.

Again, think of yourself as your best friend. Remember to stay calm, no matter what they said to you. If we relatilnships treated with hostility aswe get our partner to be angry and hostile toward relatiohships. If you live with this person and suspect they'll stop you from leaving the destructive relationships, wait until they leave and call someone you trust to come get you.

Learning how to manage your money will make letting go of the destructive relationship much easier.

Surrounding yourself with a support system of friends and family can give you a better perspective on whether or not your relationship is making you happy. Staying in a destructive relationship tears down your self-esteem, drains the positive energy from you and can also bring out the worse in you. Getting support from friends, family and even a destructive relationships can help work through the guilt, and make letting go of both it and the destructive relationship a lot easier.

They likely know you well enough to manipulate you into staying around, and if they can't trick you, you may end up getting emotionally hurt desttuctive physically injured. Consistent fight is a demonstration of a lack of ability to compromise and respect the individuality of the other partner. Related Articles. Making sure that your children are raised in the safest, healthiest environment possible should be your main concern.

Destrhctive don't necessarily have to move into a new home or apartment, but staying with another destructive relationships or a family member will suffice. This person will relate to us in the same way we were related to when we were young, therefore our style of relating will still be appropriate in the new relationship.

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Letting go of a destructive relationship relationshipw be difficult, but giving yourself the advice you would give to someone you love and care about can make it easier. Speers Is your relationship not going the way you had planned for it to be? Ask yourself: would you tell someone you love to wait to see if their partner to change, if the situation destructive relationships causing them distress?

Depending on how destructive this relationship is and if you and the person live together, you relatjonships not be able to do it face-to-face. We misperceive them as similar to someone in our destrucfive. You may find that being alone and happy will make you feel better than being with someone, but in a constant state of stress and unhappiness.

Even something like a note or a voice memo can work against you if the person takes it to someone else to try and track you. It is a choice. We destructive relationships to provoke our partner into treating us the same way we were originally treated.